I’m scheduling your two year checkup now, a tad later than I normally would because this is where my mind is now: on you and your new swim class and approaching school year, on our family and all the moving parts, on my lower back and how to kind of still sleep on my stomach. It’s all a juggling act. It’s all a cliche, to a degree.I remember your very first appointment with your pediatrician. Our very first appointment as real parents living outside of the hospital with a real baby living outside of me. We made sure we wiped your booty shiny-clean and fed you immediately before. As two first borns raised in a society focused on milestones and test scores, a “Well Baby Appointment” for our four-day-old felt like something we could only pass or fail. Our first outing, as big and small as you were.
Now here I am almost two years later at the same doctor’s office waiting to take a one hour glucose test I don’t know I’m about to fail, giving off the vibe of do not sit next to me. Mine is not quite the confidence that woman had that day, but there is something in my eyes and posture now that wasn’t there before. My first child is home with a sitter eating lunch in her underwear. I have downed the sugar drink and am reading a book. I know the library Story Hour schedule. I know where to park at the aquarium. I know how to make dinner with a toddler pulling down my shorts and dumping out all the mixing bowls. I am better at asking for help when I need it. I know how to take care of you and myself.
Mama and Daddy