I was laying on my couch the other day, in a daze, thinking about how much I love our house, but also how weird it is; how when an appraiser came he said he thought it was odd, but I couldn’t see it. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that stuff, I suppose, or love is blind.
Then I was thinking about how we are fractured souls and how someday, when we die and our souls go off to heaven (or whatever’s next), they will mend and all the fuzz and cobwebs we let cloud our vision will slip away and what’s left of us will laugh at all the small things we let get in the way of a beautiful day.
Maybe this is too deep and random for a Wednesday afternoon. I’ve been wanting to bring out the more humorous, less serious side of myself in my writing this year. I don’t know if it’s working.
Today a mom from Mommy-and-Me Swim started talking to me in the lobby after class. “Does she fall asleep in the car afterwards?” she mused. I looked over my shoulder not once, but twice. I assumed she was talking to anyone else there but me. Before this question floated in the chlorine laced air for several silent seconds, I had decided that she didn’t like me. It was because Avalon had pushed her daughter on the floaty mat once or because I carried a “trying too hard” vibe, I was convinced. She seemed to avoid eye contact at the very least.
“Oh! Are you talking to me?” I said, like I would have in high school when I didn’t have friends. She nodded and I answered that Avalon used to sleep in the car on the way home, but that she doesn’t usually now. We talked about the swim class and how there was another gymnastics class down the street. She told me to “Take care” and that she’d “See me next week!”. Of course there’s that quote about assuming and making an ass out of yourself which usually applies to me, but this moment actually made me think about a quote my mom texted the family on Monday:
“We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Anais Nin
We are silly souls sometimes, aren’t we? So concerned with the end result of being free or being happy or being skinny or being better at… cooking. I really need to clear some of these cobwebs off my soul now so I don’t miss knowing other souls.
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