I interviewed a babysitter the other week though. I’m starting to think dragging Avalon to various appointments is more like having a tiny ferret to contain and occupy than an adorably dressed sidekick who is equally invested in knowing the latest information about my neck mole, while also winning over the grouchy receptionist. I’m sure it’s not her idea of fun either.
I told the potential sitter that Avalon was ‘really funny‘ when describing her and then, there we all were at the park awkwardly trying to decide if we wanted to keep knowing each other and she stared at Avalon (who was towing a maple leaves behind her thick as hides) and said “So, she’s funny?” I could not describe why. “Well, um, she says please: ”Bees’ and…she loves the washer and dryer and reading to her ‘bebe’ and climbing through the bottom of her training potty and…have I totally lost touch with what is actually funny?”
But you know what? I don’t care. All those things I worried about happening to me as a mom when I thought I was young and cool enough, like driving a mini van or having worse hair, really don’t concern me like I thought they should.
I never want to forget her this way. How her pupils are like moon-saucers that take up almost all of her eyes. How she knows the difference between a silly smile and a curious one. How she says “No!” like she is the head of the family and will make all our decisions going forth. How she dances to traditionally serious songs and lullabies like they’re the Macarena, galloping in a circle and bouncing her fists in the air. How she lays her head on me so forcefully and so sweetly when I sing her bedtime song. How she says “WOW!” when she sees an iHop commercial or a really big dog walking down the street. How she calls dogs “Golly Golls”, for some reason, and also thinks that is the noise they make (“woof, ruf, gollygoll!”). How she thinks it’s funny to throw her baby doll and say “Uh oh!” like it was a complete accident. How she says “Burr” when she goes outside in the cold.
Yes, I suppose none of this is actually that funny, but it is a reminder that, even now as a self-obsessed, aging, loving, idiotic human, I am so thankful for ordinary days.