Our last appointment went well. I’ll have to remind your future Nonny not to say anything about my driving on the way there next time though. When we saw you on the screen, you were hiccuping. Rebecca, our acupuncturist, says this means you’re growing. She also thinks you’re a boy. Only you know the answer to that right now.
They had to take some of my blood for testing. They asked me “What have you eaten today?” and I had to tell them “Cheerios…with soy sauce.”…in the waiting room, in front of a teenage boy in a Pancho and a bunch of elderly couples holding each other’s hands and oxygen tanks. The nurse laughed like he didn’t understand, but took my blood anyway. Hopefully it’s as red as it’s supposed to be.
I’ve still been taking you surfing with me. I honestly believe you like it. I guess only you know if that’s true too. Daddy took some pictures of us in the water the other day and then I took some of him. I hope you like watching him surf as much as I do.
This swell was one of the best we’ve ever had and I had one of the best sessions I’ve ever had. I think that has something to do with you. I paddled out the back to the deep water when the bigger ones came. I told you “This is what it’s about Sprout! The adrenaline that pumps through you and makes you remember all the details.” I wish you could have seen the water. It’s a blue-green color that paint doesn’t come in. I open my eyes when we duck-dive to make sure everything is safe and because I want to capture that color in my mind’s eye forever. Then I can see it if I ever have to be away from the ocean. I bet the whales migrating south stay around an extra few days just to enjoy these hues too.
We ride the small and medium waves and only really surf with friends whose surf abilities I am familiar with. All of them know about you. Sometimes they call me “Mamma”. Sometimes I hate it. But when those words come out of your mouth I think it will be the best thing anyone has ever called me.
Sometimes I worry if you are ok or not. I even downloaded this app to detect your heartbeat that your daddy told me not to. He was right. It doesn’t even work on me! The good thing is, when I’m worrying, sometimes you send me a sign. I think I feel you moving around lately. I know I do. Your presence is so strong already.
When I think about taking care of you it makes me think of my mom and dad and how they’ve taken care of me; how I love the world because of them and what they’ve shown and told me about it.
Sometimes I feel like I must’ve grown-up to be having a baby and going to doctors appointments and trying to eat a balanced, healthy diet for a growing human (with a little cereal and soy sauce mixed in), but when I see my shadow running up the beach I see I’m still a kid. And you are mine, and that’s what you were before you were here at all and…this is going to be awesome.
Me, your mom