I’ve been taking walks at night just to clear my mind, because it’s been crowded. Recent changes such as Scott’s new job, mistakes I’ve made this week like losing my temper, disease sneaking into the lives of people I’ve always loved who have always loved me even when I wasn’t a good friend to their daughter in 7th grade; these thoughts are all in there. There are other people out walking too. Some together, some alone. Some on bikes and some smoking cigarettes watching waves.
Sometimes I run into the night. It feels so good, I don’t want my shoes on. I need my feet to feel the hardness of the ground; the warmness of it after a whole day and the small rocks and cracks and sand that make it what it is. It’s crazy how comforting the blanket of night can be when you need it. Not scary at all, but protective. Lately it’s been so hot it actually feels like the air is holding on to your skin.
I love looking in the window of this one house to see if someone who lives there is in it washing the dishes. It reminds me of how my family and I always used to drive through my Aunt and Uncle’s neighborhood on Thanksgiving to see if this family was eating dinner at their dining table by the front window. These trips were always instigated by Nonny, but everyone wanted to do it. It’s comforting knowing that there are people out there in life doing the same things.
There have been a lot of hurricanes down south lately. Those storms, like rocks dropped in the water, have been sending waves and humid weather to California for weeks.
I just keep thinking, the ocean only knows to carry on and I think humans do too.