|our last sailing trip|
My family? I couldn’t love one thing more. They’re the only family I’d ever want and I consider each one of them my best friend in different ways, but we’re part Italian and nearly 100% feisty. If we were a pack of dogs, we’d probably be terriers (except Scott, he’d probably be a lab). Being on a 40 foot boat for two weeks, spending every waking minute together is going to be awesome, but it is also going to be a test in patience and love. To prepare for the long voyage (and this test), I sent everyone an email with a few little prompts so we can get our little quirks and needs out in the open before we pull up the anchor. I decided to share it here in case any of you might find it useful. ~
I’m getting so freaking excited for the trip! I really think this is going to be one of the best ones yet and I can’t wait to spend time with you all as a group and individually. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about things we can do to avoid family fights and creating tension on the trip. I thought it might be a good idea for each of us to fill out this little questionnaire so we can gain more insight and understanding about each other and the things that push our buttons before we set sail. You don’t have to do it, but it might help! Don’t be afraid to be really honest. And feel free to add any other questions and notes.
Things That Will Bother Me:
+ Dad and Scott leaving me out of boating activities. I’m happy with my position as second mate, but I like to be involved in the experience of sailing, learning what I don’t know and being a part of the boating team. Don’t forget about me!
If I am in a bad mood…
+ Joke about it or give me space (or food). Criticize me in the moment, and I’m likely to turn on you or not hear what you have to say. I know I should “let it go”, “keep little things little” and so on and I like being given credit for knowing these things. I will move on in time, but please try not to point out how annoying it is that I’m feeling however I’m feeling. There’s a good chance I already know it’s not cool and if you don’t think I know, let’s talk about it when you can tell I’m more clearheaded.
My Love language: Time
The Love Language(s) that Speaks to Me: Words of Affirmation / Time
+ I like being given little jobs. I think it is important that during clean up time, sailing, etc. we give people little tasks that are theirs so no one feels lost, left out or blamed for being idle.
+ I think, in general, it’s a good idea not to label each other as “cranky”, “lazy”, “mean” etc.
What I Want to Get Out of the Trip:
+ I want to feel like dad had the time of his life. He earned it and he deserves it. I want us to work as a team. I want to learn things I don’t know about each of you. I want to see things I’ve never seen before. I want to relax and read a lot. I want to swim, surf and explore a lot. I want to try new foods and help in the kitchen. I want to shop a little. I want to see animals!
My family’s response:
Scott: You’re so low maintenance.
Dad: I guess we know who’s going overboard first.
Danielle: I want to see animals too! LOL!
At least everyone knows what to do to avoid pissing me off! After talking to a friend about this whole thing and specifically how it’s a good idea to warn those around you when you’re not in the best mood, I said “It’s kind of like a rattle snake shaking its tail, advising potential victims to beware.” She said “You should do that! You should bring rattles so when people are not in a mood to be bothered they can shake their rattle and let other people know. It’d be kind of funny!”
Well guess what? I’m going to do exactly that!
What do you do to keep the peace in your family? During vacations or otherwise?
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